Some holiday movies and songs might lead a person to believe that the winter season is a stress-free, blissful time of year. Unfortunately, the truth can be a bit more complicated. If you’re someone whose dread of the holidays has you feeling like a grinch, you’re not alone. A lot of people find it difficult to manage holiday stress. At Highland Hospital Behavioral Health in Charleston, West Virginia, we help our patients and their families develop strategies that can improve their ability to enjoy their seasonal gatherings.
Causes of Holiday Stress
Some of the very things that make the holidays joyful can also be accompanied by difficulties. A humorous depiction of this dynamic is “The Twelve Pains of Christmas”, a song that talks about such relatable challenges as:
- Over-indulging in alcoholic beverages, leading to hangovers
- Feeling obligated to spend more than is affordable on gifts and decorations
- Interacting with toxic family members
- Unrealistic expectations of “magical” holidays
Not only may you experience some of the stressors listed above, but if you are someone who is far from family and friends, or who is missing a loved one who has died, you may also be experiencing feelings of grief and loneliness.
Managing Holiday Stress
As you gear up for whatever festivities are in your future, being prepared to manage the stress you could experience is a big step in you can take in optimizing your joy:
- Reduce your expectations – Recognize that things will go wrong, your budget is limited, and that you might not be able to do every single thing that is asked of you due to other obligations and time constraints. Instead of trying to make the impossible happen, give yourself permission to be human.
- Focus on what matters most – Think about what you and yours need most from holiday time and make a plan that supports that goal. Is it shared memories? Do you need a break to rest? Is it time to start planning for 2025? Do you want to focus on the holiday traditions that have brought your joy in the past? There is no wrong answer, as long as it works for you and the people you love.
- Prioritize self-care – The routines that helped you maintain mental health before the holidays are just as important, and maybe even more important, when you are in a busy part of the year. Ensuring you get enough sleep, attend therapy, eat right, stay active, and take your medications on time will make it easier to handle difficulties you encounter.
- Ask for help – You might benefit from seeking out professional support for your mental health; asking for help in preparing the food for a big gathering; or asking a loved one to guide your child with mental health diagnoses through the plan for upcoming festivities.
- Be kind – Not only is it important to extend some grace to the server in a busy restaurant, to the cashier checking out your holiday purchases, and to your family, who may be feeling overwhelmed during this chaotic time, but you should also be kind to yourself. This might mean having an escape plan for events attended by a person who is problematic for you, arranging times and places to take breaks, and staying mindful about your spending so that you don’t regret purchases for months to come.
- Allow yourself to grieve – There is no shame in remembering and celebrating the people who aren’t able to be with you for the holiday. A special ornament on the tree, a visit to the cemetery, a donation to charity in their honor, or engaging in a tradition that was special to them are all ways to keep loved ones in your heart when they cannot be with you.
Helping Children Navigate the Holidays
If you’re a parent whose child has a mental health diagnosis, the holidays may expose them to a lot of added triggers, so it is a good idea to create a plan for how you will support them during this time:
- Bring down the volume – This can mean different things for different kids, but could include turning the TV off, playing some quiet music, inviting over fewer people, giving your child some headphones, or designating a quiet space where they can be alone for a while.
- Stick to sleep routines – You want your child to have lots of time with grandparents, cousins and other people who love them, but allowing them to skip a nap or stay up late might be asking for a meltdown.
- Help your child establish and enforce boundaries – Your child might not want hugs, to sit on Santa’s lap, or have people in their space. Before the holidays arrive is a great time to help them practice their skills for saying no and to remind them that you are able to help if someone isn’t accepting their boundaries.
- Recognize when it’s time to leave – Forcing your child to spend the entire day at a loud, busy event, interacting with lots of people, may be asking too much of them. Before the event, think about your child’s social battery and how much time they can realistically enjoy this much holiday cheer and then plan accordingly. If the big day rolls around and you realize your plan was overly ambitious, adjust accordingly.
At Highland Hospital Behavioral Health, we help children, adolescents and adults who require residential treatment for psychiatric and substance use disorders. Our caring staff of trauma-informed professionals offer evidence-based treatment to help our clients enjoy the big and small moments in life more fully.
