Have you ever been somewhere and realized this was not a place you should be? How did you handle that situation? Did you recognize, after the fact, that there were things you could have done differently if you had just planned ahead? At Highland Hospital Behavioral Health in Charleston, West Virginia, we want to help you make a plan for stressful holiday events, so that you don’t find yourself in a situation where you feel stuck somewhere that isn’t good for your mental health or addiction recovery.
The Invitation Is Issued
As soon as you become aware of an event, consider:
- The purpose of the event
- If you are in the right place in your mental health or substance use recovery to attend
- Why you want to go
If you are honest with yourself in answering all of these questions, you should be able to make a solid plan for how you wish to proceed.
The Invitation Is Declined
Remember that you are not required to accept every invitation that you receive and that the easiest way to escape an event that isn’t good for you is to not show up in the first place. You don’t even have to give a reason for your absence. You can simply say that you won’t be able to make it. “No,” is a complete sentence, after all. If you want to give an answer, without going into detail about your mental health or substance use recovery, you can simply say that you have prior commitments or that your holiday calendar is really full and you need a night at home to rest.
If you feel like you’re declining so many invitations that you’re going to be lonely, you can always look for alternate ways to spend your time, which might include:
- Hosting your own holiday events
- Working extra hours
- Attending more recovery meetings
- Engaging with your hobbies
- Participating in spiritual events at your house of worship
- Volunteering for a worthwhile cause
- Focusing on your self-care routine
The Invitation Is Accepted
If you feel like you want or need to attend a specific holiday event, then consider which of the following you might need to implement to ensure that you can get through it without relapsing:
- Talk to someone you trust about the event and be open to hearing their thoughts about the risks and benefits of attending.
- Take a sober support. If you’re the only person who isn’t drinking, it can be harder to turn away alcohol. Having at least one other sober person with you can make it feel less uncomfortable to say no.
- If alcohol will be present and you’re not drinking, ask what other beverages will be available and consider taking your own drinks. If the answer is unclear or not something you are likely to enjoy. Rehearse in advance what you will say if you are offered alcohol and plan to keep a full drink in your hands at all times. If you are already holding a drink, it’s less likely that you will be offered one.
- Depending on your comfort level with your host, you may be able to talk to them in advance about things that could be a challenge to your recovery. They may be willing to make accommodations to support you, such as removing alcohol from the gathering or not inviting your abuser.
- If there will be people at the event who aren’t good for you to interact with, have a plan for how you will avoid them.
- Make a plan that allows you to leave early, if you need to do so: Do not offer to be anyone’s designated driver since your passenger may not be ready to leave when you are. Don’t rely on someone else for a ride – for the same reason. Have a fake emergency or alternate engagement planned out in your head. Have money for a cab or Uber, if you don’t drive. Park in a spot where your car will not be blocked in by other vehicles.
At Highland Hospital Behavioral Health in Charleston, WV, we want our patients to live full, happy lives, surrounded by family and friends who support their recovery journey, not just at the holidays, but year-round.
