Realizing that someone you care about is struggling with suicidal ideation can be scary and uncomfortable. You may not know what to say or do to help them stay safe. At Highland Hospital Behavioral Health in Charleston, West Virginia, we want to make it easier for you to support people you love through suicidal thoughts.
Signs of Suicidal Thoughts
The first step of keeping suicidal people safe is to recognize the signs that they could be thinking about ending their life.
Signs may include:
- Talking, writing, or posting on social media about wanting to die, feeling overwhelming guilt or shame, believing they are a burden to others, or expressing that loved ones would be better off without them.
- Emotional changes, such as feeling hopeless, empty, trapped, or in unbearable emotional pain. They may also experience intense sadness, agitation, rage, or a sense that life has no purpose or meaning.
- Behavioral changes, including researching methods of suicide, making plans to end their life, gathering items they could use to harm themselves, withdrawing from friends, family, or colleagues, increasing their use of alcohol or drugs, experiencing significant changes in eating or sleeping habits, displaying extreme mood swings, or engaging in risky behaviors such as reckless driving or unsafe sexual activity.
- Putting affairs in order, such as saying goodbye in a way that suggests they do not expect to see others again, giving away treasured possessions, purchasing or reviewing life insurance policies, or creating or updating a will.
Starting a Conversation About Suicide
If you notice signs that someone in your life could be thinking about suicide, you need to talk to them right away. If they aren’t suicidal, it’s extremely unlikely that you will put the idea in their head. If they are considering ending their life, however, talking to them is an important way to identify what they need to stay alive.
If you’re not sure how to ask someone if they are considering suicide, you can start by:
- Finding a quiet place where you can talk privately.
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- Sharing your concerns by saying, “I am worried about you. I have noticed some changes in you recently. [Give examples]. Are you doing okay?” or “It seems like you have had a lot of ups and downs lately. [List struggles you have noticed] I am wondering how you’re holding up?”
- Asking directly about suicidal thoughts: “Are you considering suicide?” or “Have you had thoughts of ending your life?”
- Staying calm if they confirm that suicide has crossed their mind. Thoughts of suicide are pretty common, and thoughts don’t always lead to action. Listen to what they are willing to share before assuming they are in danger. Ask follow-up questions to learn more.
- If they aren’t willing to talk to you, help them identify other people they can talk to, such as friends, family, a therapist, spiritual leaders, a teacher, or a crisis counselor.
- Staying with them or helping them connect with someone else if they indicate they are in danger of making a suicide attempt.
- Reducing access to lethal means, if they are willing to discuss what method they plan to use to kill themselves, then you can help them to stay safe by making those items less available. This is particularly important if the person plans to use a firearm to end their life, as guns are especially lethal.
- Getting emergency help. If you don’t believe you can keep the person safe or connect them to someone else who can keep them safe, call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room.
- After the person has been connected to resources, check in to see how they are doing and remind them that you are still available to offer support.
At Highland Hospital Behavioral Health, we help people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts by addressing underlying mental health conditions through holistic, individualized treatment that is both evidence-based and trauma-informed.
